Siamack Baniameri is a rocket scientist at NASA where he supervises top secret government space projects. Baniameri is also a professor of economics and a fellow at Harvard where he heads departments of Biology, Geology, Anthropology, Apology and all the other departments that end with “ology.” He is on the boards of directors of multiple multinational companies. In his spare time, Siamack Baniameri advises world leaders such as George W. and Tony Blair on world affairs and foreign policy. Well, that’s what his mom thinks.
In reality, Siamack Baniameri works for a plasma television manufacturer as a plasma donor. Prior to that, Baniameri worked at a sperm bank as a sperm donor. He was subsequently terminated after numerous complaints from customers about the low quality of the sperm. Many of the infants were returned for a refund.
Baniameri is currently interviewing with a start-up pharmaceutical company in India for a position as junior suppository testing specialist. A master's degree in political science from the University of Bora-Bora helped land Baniameri a career at a branch of a prestigious Fortune 500 firm called McDonald’s.
Baniameri, a militant nudist Buddhist and according to the Playgirl magazine "the sexiest Middle Eastern man alive since Yasser Arafat," has devoted his entire life to organizing support groups for men with hideous circumcisions. He also heads a nonprofit organization called, “Middle Eastern men for better body hair removal products.” Baniameri has traveled the world looking for the answer to the most fundamental question asked by every man: where the heck is the remote control?
